Treating Obesity (with Weird Devices)

Science today has brought us some truly strange proposals on how to cut down on our belly fat.  Like this weird contraption that sucks half the food out of your stomach before your body digests it. (There is currently not enough evidence base to make it to market, to anyone who thinks this sounds like a great idea). This made me think about less invasive techniques to cut down on the calories one consumes.

 PROPOSAL (very scientific): The mouthinator.

This product will be installed in the patient's mouth, preferably in the space where most adults have their wisdom teeth removed. It will have several small chemical probes that are linked to a wireless device that the patient carries with them (preferably it should be mobile-phone compatible-- you know, there's an app for that...).

These probes would analyse the fat, protein, and simple carbohydrate intake as you eat. When the probes have found you've aten sufficient fat, protein, and simple carbs, it will emit a specialised beep from the mobile device (preferably your phone) to let you know which types of foods the patient needs to stay away from. I.E. there will be a different tone for fat, protein, and simple carbs. When the patient has completely aten all of their daily allotment of protein, fat, and simple carbs, small disks inserted where the wisdom teeth normally are will spray a light spray of peppermint. This will signify to the patient that their meal allotment is nearly done, and to think cautiously about future food choices. Mint also has been shown to help digestion in many trials.

From there, there are several options. Either the disk could emit another mint spray upon the client achieving 100% of their dietary intake of protein, fat, and simple carbs (complex carbs would be ignored, as most people don't eat enough vegetables anyways). The disk could then send out one additional terrible tasting spray should the patient eat more from there.

I realize this isn't a cure for obesity. On the other hand, it's much less invasive then drilling a hole in someone's stomach and attaching a miniature vaccuum cleaner. Just saying.

Get on this science!!!








Just think, in the future, they may even make these contraptions in the more attractive "grill" version.